This past week, I did something that felt surprisingly radical for someone who loves a stage and a good “old” conference.
I went to an Unconference.
No speakers.
No stage.
No keynotes.
No “sit quietly while someone theoretically smarter than the room tries to shove the hours worth of material into a 37-minute keynote.”
Instead, there were intentional conversations, discussion groups, roundtables, and a few secret dinners with randomly assigned humans who very quickly went from stranger to friend. 🫶
It was a great reminder of the power of connection, intentionality, and thoughtful dialogue, and of course, it gave me some takeaways for you!
1️⃣ When No One Is “The Expert,” Everyone Pays Attention
There were no speakers telling us what to think or what to take notes on, which at first felt strange.
Who’s in charge?
Where am I supposed to be right now?
What session should I go to?
What’s the takeaway?
🤩 But that feeling lasted about twelve seconds, as I started having conversations with people that went waaaaaaay beyond the “so, what do you do?”
Everyone at this event listened more carefully. They spoke more intentionally. Responsibility for the conversation belonged to everyone in the room, and that definitely changed how we connected, challenged each other, and contributed.
For the better.
💡 Lesson: A group of people can often have more insight than a single expert.
2️⃣ Connection Deepens When Performance Is Removed
No one came to this event to posture. It was incredible, really. Everyone came with an open mind, ready to be vulnerable, and without the perfect elevator pitch to make sure they sounded polished and perfect.
👉 When you’re a speaker at an event, there’s a level of expertise you need to maintain, which means you can only be so vulnerable while out in the crowd.
That isn’t a negative thing, and it doesn’t mean we speakers are lying or being disingenuous. We’re also in presenter mode, which is different from listen-and-learn. In this room, everyone was there for the latter, and without the need to perform, conversations were real and fast.
💡 Lesson: When the nervous system doesn’t have to perform, it can connect.
3️⃣ Small Groups Create Big Shifts
The moments of “hey, everyone” were few and far between, and even when host Vincent Pugliese called us all together, it was for something important.
You see, the most meaningful moments didn’t happen in that big room.
They happened around tables.
In circles.
At dinner.
On the beach during sunset.
The big room was for recognizing and celebrating those conversations and the people who provided value to us throughout the week, and that’s some pretty incredible momentum to take away.
💡 Lesson: Progress doesn’t necessarily require more people; it requires more intention.
4️⃣ Discomfort Is a Feature, Not a Flaw
While I am an extrovert who loves to work a room, there’s still a sense of awkwardness in trying to find conversational rhythm with someone you don’t know and also don’t want to (only) have small talk with.
Of course, there were moments where no one jumped in to fill the silence. Times when the conversation wandered before it landed somewhere useful. A little oversharing or over-talking…it happens anytime there’s a bunch of smart people around a table.
In a traditional conference, those moments get smoothed over (or gossiped about over late-night cocktails). Here, they were allowed. Here, everyone was accepted for who they are in life and business.
💡 Lesson: Pushing through awkward moments will teach you more than running away from them.
5️⃣ Being “On the Same Level” Changes Everything
There were no VIPs. No speakers versus attendees. No hierarchy to navigate.
That’s refreshing for someone like me for a few reasons: no performance (as mentioned in number two), increased vulnerability and transparency, and mostly the idea that all of us had something to learn from each other.
We were all available to each other.
Everyone was a peer, and that meant everyone showed up as the human they are (first), regardless of titles, brands, and revenue.
Of course, I may have worn a HUMAN. Shirt for the week, so there’s that. 😉
💡 Lesson: When roles fall away, alignment and potential are much easier to identify.
6️⃣ Real Conversations Stay With You Longer Than Any Slide Deck
I don’t remember bullet points. I remember how conversations feel.
As Maya Angelou says, “People won’t remember what you said. They won’t remember what you did. But, they will remember how you made them feel.”
💡 Lesson: Show is so much stronger than tell.
7️⃣ You Don’t Need All the Answers to Feel Grounded
I didn’t leave with a ten-step plan. I barely left with any notes.
What I did leave with was dozens of new friends who want to see me succeed and vice versa. They’re people who are working at levels I can only aspire to, and that’s inspiring. Others are just getting started, and to them I provide support.
💪 Regardless, I walked away from the Unconference with the reaffirmation that I am doing the work I’m meant to do, and now I get to do that surrounded by others doing the same.
That sounds like a pretty incredible way to remember that humans still matter.
Don’t you think? 🤨
💡 Lesson: Sometimes the best antidote to Sunday Scaries is remembering you’re not navigating everything alone.
This week reminded me that not every meaningful experience needs structure, polish, or an agenda. Sometimes what we need most is space to listen, to speak honestly, and to be human in the room with other humans doing the same.
Here’s to fewer stages, better questions, and connections that actually carry into the week (and life) ahead. ♥️
Your Friend and Coach,
Angie
